Lake District Trip
We all set off on a cold and dismal Friday morning for our holidays in the Lake District. It was official the Flyers and Friends were ‘On Tour’. Andy, Stuart, Meg, Davy, Stuart (the nurse) Big G and Lynda, Billy, Mervyn, Noel and Brian (Alias Jim). Lana travelled in style and met up with us in the hotel.
To say a good time was had by all is an understatement, the craic was ninety and the food and wine flowed freely (big G though ate more of everyone’s else’s grub than they did themselves and got the award for ‘ gannet of the tour).
On our trip down to the hotel as we had the pleasure of an encounter with a Tornado
(Jet plane). Without any warning it was suddenly overhead. Lynda ducked and dived for cover while the rest of us had palpitations of the anal flaps. It did give us something to laugh about the whole weekend.
Our first full day trip (which was a long trek hint hint Andy) was to the highest pub in GB, Tan Hill, were we met up with Andy’s folks. We encountered lots of sheep along the way, and some of the flyers had to use quick evasive action in order to miss them.
Davy though, had a thing about the local wildlife, as he trapped a fly up his nose along the way. What a commotion. Later that night he drank a wasp in his beer. His poor wee lips will never be the same again.
(neither will his bum after the Chinese he had the next night).
In true Flyers style, we went out a hunting the local night life, and as taxi’s were in short supply, we took to our heels and walked. Andy of course, huffed and moaned about having to take a ten minute walk, but Lana threatened to take away his dummy and he soon stopped his tantrums. (Bet you get a lovely bunch of flowers to work this week Lana)
The Albert Bar (yes the Albert Bar) was the place to go, with live music ranging from rock to swing, The fact that the bar maid wore a leopard skin G string had nothing to do with it popularity. The oldies though found it quieter in the Angel Bar. So we alternated between the two.
We all learned a lot about each other while away, as many stores and yarns of years gone by were told.
In true Flyers fashion, a farting competition was held. The top prize, on smell value alone, had to go to Stuart Allely and Mervyn. While the top prize for noise had to go to Billy, because he managed squidgy watery ones. Davy just couldn’t manage one at all, but he did give us all a laugh trying to squeeze one out.
For one night only, Meg, Lana and Lynda all had the pleasure of seeing ‘wee willy winky’, grey pubes and all (oops I mean hair). Your know who you are don’t you Billy.
The top snoring award was given to Davy. His room was on the second floor and he could be heard snoring on the first floor. Mervyn came a close second as Billy spent a long night trying to shut him up.
Top entertainment award had to go to Noel, as he kept us all amused with his stories and yarns. You all must ask him about the night he came home drunk with a belletia beacon on the end of his arm and had to go to hospital to get it removed.
The lap dance award went to Meg as she gave the chosen few a lap dance. Not a lap dance as we know it, but the Killinchy version. Wee ‘willy winkies’ friend ‘wee ‘Davy winkie’ nearly came out to play.
Stuart the nurse got the award for ‘caring in the community’ as he provided wonderful ‘morning after’ pills. Not the ones you are thinking about, but the ones to help cure a hangover. I think though that he used more of them than anyone else.
Stuart Allely celebrated his 40th birthday party while we were away and we all enjoyed a wonderful ‘nouvelle cuisine’ dinner in his honour. Everyone though was looking for pastie suppers on the way home that night and had to settle for a bag of crisps and a beer.
You know the old saying ‘life begins at forty’ you go for it Stuart and Happy birthday from us all.
The top award, tour arranger extraordinaire, had to go to Andy. The trip, the hotel, the days out, were all wonderful. We all arrived and returned home safe and sound. A big thanks from us all Andy for a very successfully weekend away and a job well done.
We were two down on our trip home, Brain had left the day before and Davy ventured further a field to spend two days on a canal boat in Leicester. We all headed home with heavy hearts as our holidays had come to and end. Let’s hope Andy is already working on next years Flyers on Tour’ trip away.
Greatfully sent in by Gordon and Lynda.